Tonight I caught my uprise at trapeze for the first time in 4+ years. Please refer to link to know what the hell I’m talking about 🙂
At one point in time, maybe in spring of 2011 or so, I used to catch this trick consistently. I loved this trick. It’s somewhat challenging and requires a bit of strength– both mental and physical. If you psyche yourself out too much, you’ll overthink it and fall off the bar. I perfected it, caught it a bunch of times and moved on.
Between then and now I built up this trick so much in my mind that I became scared of it. It’s hard to explain what about the trick is scary, I think it’s because it’s SO different from other sensations when you’re flying. Getting up on that bar is a bit freaky.
Trapeze doesn’t scare me, at this rate I feel super comfortable climbing the ladder and hanging out on board before my turn. I find it trapeze to be therapeutic and calming, truthfully. This trick though? Makes my heart race just thinking about it.
The first time I attempted the trick again I was a hot mess and my body was shaking from fear the entire time. Even though I failed miserably, my instructors encouraged me to keep at it. After all, I used to catch this trick when I was 20. I like to think I’m a bit stronger now and a better flyer, therefore I should be able to do an uprise.
So it’s become my new trick I’m working on these days. Every single time I jumped from the board and attempted an uprise, my heart was absolutely racing.
Today it clicked. My body remembered what to do, and my brain didn’t get in the way. I got into the position smoothly for the first time in years. I’m pretty sure the first words out of my mouth were “holy shit” when I hit the net. It happened. I had begun to conquer the fear.
Every day I end up doing something that scares me. I’m often times forced out of my awkward and introverted shell. My old job cold calling used to secretly terrify me because it forced me to be so far out of my comfort zone.
So why am I telling you this? Catching that uprise made me realize that it’s good to feel a little bit of fear. I like to think it keeps us alive and safe. Just don’t let fears hold you back. I convinced myself I couldn’t do an uprise simply because I was afraid of it. Yes, you’ll be uncomfortable, maybe even a little shaky, but you’ll survive.
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