On my 25th birthday (almost a year ago now) I went to Uplift. It’s become a somewhat birthday tradition since I turned 23, they offer a free birthday class which is an offer I can’t refuse.
I was chatting with the instructor, she knew it was my birthday, and I mentioned something about turning 25. She looked at me and said “Wait, you’re only 25? We’re the same age, but you totally have it together.” At that exact moment in time I was flailing career wise, trying desperately to leave my cold-calling, gross-feeling, sales position at a major start-up. I definitely didn’t feel like I had it together, and one year later at almost 26 years old I still don’t have it together.
Getting your shit together is more than wearing cropped tops with a blazer and calling it business casual.
For awhile I thought it was just me who felt this way. I thought I was the only hot mess out there flailing to find a job I’m passionate about and that it’s no longer acceptable to feel this way 4 years post college. All my friends seemed like they had their shit together and their career situation all figured out.
I would ask myself why I didn’t just major in accounting or something with a tangible career outcome instead of theater. But well, now I own a business and can hire an accountant to do the job instead of myself ending up in a 9-5 job. And now, even businesses such as property management companies can hire real estate accounting services and facilities for other work operations, so running a business gets a lot easier.
The more I talk to my friends about this, both my age and a few years old than me, I realize that no one actually has their shit together. We’re all just kind of flailing and figuring it out. Even though I thought my friends had their shit together, in actuality they all share a lot of these same feelings. My friends aren’t 100% happy with their jobs and are either job hunting or just started a new job. They don’t have it all figured out and even if it looks like they have their shit together, it ain’t true.
On the exterior it might seem like everyone has their shit together, sure I have an apartment that isn’t disgusting and I’m in a long-term relationship, but chances are we are all hot messes trying to figure it out on the inside.
As I approach my 26th Birthday, which is also the 4 year anniversary of my college graduation because I graduated on my birthday, I’ve been feeling a bit freaked out about what I have / have not accomplished since college. Surely I thought I would have a bit more stability at this point post-college… but I don’t. I’m here, writing cover letters, once again.
I’ve come to the realization, though, that I’m certainly not alone. Yes, it’s a sucky feeling, but almost everyone out there is experiencing it too. Except for my mom who found her calling as a librarian at a young age.
PREACH SO HARD
Thank you 🙂
Well said! I always have to keep this in mind as I often fall into a huge comparison rut with the people around. Thanks for this, Kayla!
Thank you! I’m totally guilty of the comparison rut too
YES, thank you for sharing. I don’t have my life together, but I’m thankful that God takes care of me. <3
Thank you 🙂 I’m certainly a work in progress too
Are you in my head? This is exactly what I needed to hear! I graduated college last year and am searching for a job now and feeling ALL THE THOUGHTS. Do I know what I want to do? Nope. I know I won’t find the perfect job now (or ever) but it’s nice to know we aren’t alone in our feelings.
I’m So with you on all of that… and I just passed the 4 year anniversary of my college graduation. It’s always a learning process and you just have to hope that you’re getting one step further with every new job and experience.
Thanks for this reminder Kayla! I am almost twice your age, and it doesn’t change. Something I’ve realised over the years of getting to know people is that there is always something, always a thing that a person is dealing with, that is often so different from the perception others have of them from the outside. Good lesson – don’t judge a person from what they seem to be like, just get to know who they really are.
Thanks Elissa, it’s really so true, I think we’re all dealing with more on the inside and forget that this is true for everyone.
“We are all hot messes trying to figure it out on the inside” — YES! Couldn’t agree more.
and I’m living proof, ha 🙂
I absolutely love this post! I graduated from college early in December and have yet to land a job and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought that I should have majored in business or medical something instead of broadcasting. I’ve watched friends start careers and look like they have it all together and I’ve been sitting over here going dang I need to get my crap together. It’s refreshing to know that everyone struggles with it, some are just better at hiding it than others!
I so hear you as a gal that graduated with a theater degree. In my opinion, majoring in something that you love and are passionate about will ALWAYS trumps the alternative. I’m grateful I majored in something I loved so much even though I’ve changed my career path since
You are not alone ! I’m turning 25 in a month and I’m a mess.. Your post alleviated my state of mind, Thank You !
I swear, we’re all hot messes and just do a good job of covering it up.
Thank you so much for the reassurance! Thought I’ve read a similar post on – I think – Huffington Post a while back it’s different to hear it from a “real person” [if you know what I mean[. I, too, didn’t graduate in one of those subjects with a tangible future and my life feels far from together. But yes, I guess there’s hope for us, too?!
I think there definitely is hope for us! Nothing wrong with getting their via alternative paths or in my case majors.